Calming The Frustrated Patient

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Imagine this scene with me. You get notified that your new patient arrives a few minutes late to the appointment. You grab your computer and get a room ready for the initial evaluation then head to the patient waiting area to call the patient back with you. The patient gets up and begins to walk toward you and you warmly introduce yourself and ask how are they doing today. Then, you get a snarky retort from the patient and they begin to unload their anger and frustration over some situation related to your clinic or hospital. All of the sudden the mood changes.

This is probably a scenario that is easy to imagine because it has likely happened to you. It’s happened to me recently! We often end up dealing with a frustrated or upset patient. The frustration can come from any number of places and for any number of reasons, but the bottom line sometimes we walk into situations that can become tenuous because of the emotional state of a patient. I was reflected on my recent experience with a frustrated patient and a proverb came to my mind.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

In those moments when we find ourselves dealing with a patient who is upset, it is important to remember this verse because we don’t want to escalate or stir up a situation with our response. So what might be involved in a soft answer? Well, for sure it means thinking before we say something. And for sure it means that we speak with a calm, gentle tone. But I think there are a few other components to a soft that turns away wrath.

Prayer. Whenever we find ourselves in a situation like the one described, it would behoove all of us to just say a quick little prayer to God to give us patience, understanding, wisdom, and words to say in response. We will certainly need to have God’s power and grace in those moments, especially if the frustration is directed at our clinic, hospital, rehab facility, or even us. Praying in that moment, much like the command Paul gives in Thessalonians to pray without ceasing, will help us avoid stirring up more anger.

Listening. Then we often need to just listen. Not empty listening but active listening. Some of what may be said may actually be completely false or partially false but sometimes people just need to vent the frustration and if we are actively listening then we can better recognize some of the issues that might invariably be true. That will allow us to show more empathy in our responses which will in turn help to ease the tension or as the proverb says, “turn away wrath.”
 
Assisting. Once we’ve been listening and communicating in return with a little empathy we then might discover a few small ways to help the patient. Either through just reassuring them or through small acts of service to help improve the situation. I’ve found that even small offers to reach out to a physician or just let my supervisor know of the situation can go a long way in helping the patient feel heard and understood. Providing measured assistance can really help ease any frustration and begin to establish a connection not built on the anger or frustration.

I hope you find these components helpful as we think about a Biblical response to a situation in which you inevitably find yourself at some point in your career. Realize, too, that often there are much deeper issues at play behind a patient's frustration. In my recent case, sure enough, a few family stressors surfaced through our conversation before the evaluation. Those stressors were the underlying cause of the frustration directed at the clinic. And as the patient verbalized those stressors she realized there was more to her attitude and began to calm down. We ended up having a successful and helpful evaluation after handling the situation.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

Jason

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